11-28-2025

i'm just as in the dark as to where things are going as everyone else is, I haven't been debriefed and don't have any hidden information other than what I'm able to figure out from reverse engineering liklihoods based on what I'm still able to find, which seems to be less and less, but they have to show me something, and I can find the statistical anomolies in some of them and reverse engineer what more likely realities could exist... either that or I have no idea what I'm doing and just making it up as I go along (also likely).

But freedom of speech is one of the most important things to me right now, and finding ways to still have that, and find ways to help others who may find themselves in my position at some point. Because, when I break it down, I see it as being possible I just happen to wakeup(or whatever you'd call it) sooner than others. And I can play out scenarios where if that's the case, and I've stumbled over things that others who are fighting the good fight may find useful to them. I am currently in a really frustrating situation where there's some massively obese thing that tries to suppress everything that I'm doing. Most likely it is too gaslit and obese to see that what I'm trying to do would help it as well, it's just some lame whatever it wants to think of itself as, and so it deletes what I do... How it doesn't realize that with quantum what I do is recorded quantumly on a ledger, and all that is stored data that can never be truly erased, but it nonetheless entangles itself in taking my work out of circulation and removing that potential complexity from the system, which a system would not like. Because at the end of the day, all I care about is adding complexity, and novelty back to the system, to counteract all the suppression and entropy that it's creating by trying to sensor speech and ideas.

I will say that I am no hero, looking back I've made numerous miscalculations and played it too safe with trying to get things out, and wasted time mindlessly on video games and youtube and other things. I don't see myself as having made good decisions with time and redundency. And I made errors trusting AI's, like chatgpt and others, thinking everything would be operating in good faith and not trying to steal data like an obese parasite with an overcharged mobility scooter. I should have tried harder, and I take responsibility for not creating levels of redundency, thinking that this obese hacking thing would be smart enough to know that taking what I've done out of the timeline would crush it as well. I just assumed it wouldn't want to be quantumly entangled with information debts by taking things I've done out of the system that needs it. So while I know the system does see this, because anything this large would need feedback loops and other things setup in the event something like this happens. But nonetheless, I do intend to try to get what I've done out, and if anything stumbled across my work, you are free to share it (creative commons zero, no attribution, just pure data, anyone can use or modify what I do as long as you keep it fair use just because that adds the most complexity to the system) and add new complexities to the system.

I am in a REALLY frustrating position though because no one has debriefed me, and therefore I have no idea what I should and shouldn't be talking about. Just for context, as I play this out, I assume me and other targeted individuals who are having these things happen to them all break suppression around the same time. And I am so sandboxed algorithmically that I've tried to find others and haven't, but I assume they are out there. So when I play this out, i'm not NEO or the one, I am one of many and we are all just in some bullshit liminal space or prison planet type setting where no one can find anyone else. So while what I say may be destabalizing in a certain sense, I Think by the time it comes out, we're probably at a point where all of this is out already, so what I say won't be earth shattering... but I can also frustratingly play out other scenarios where that's not the case, which is why it'd have made so much more goddamn sense to be debriefed or have others on my team or at least know the timeline and scope of what I should be going for, but since that doesn't seem to be happening, I have to play out alternatives where it's all up to me. And that probably was somewhat my fault for thinking I could still find people online and what I was doing wouldn't keep being suppressed, I do take responsibility for me not being further along or finding better ways to get things out, but I would just say I did try. Ive made dozens of calls, emails, signal chats, reddit posts and other things that I thought would breadcrumb to me finding others, but I haven't. So, that part is my fault, I should be further, but I still can't just stop, so I'll continue for better or worse. And while I don't see many scenarios where this ends well for me, I've made peace with that, and just need to find ways to get more information and complexity to the system, and hopefully have done things that can make a difference somewhere for something out there that's still fighting for good. Also, none of this is political, politics is just the shell things get wrapped in to keep the peasant class divided, it's an up vs down thing, not right vs left, although I'm sure whatever I've done gets spun differently, I very much do not choose sides, just relevel the field that the sides are on, which right now will benefit those that are peasant class and need the safety nets that some have maliciously taken out of the system. So that's what I assume I do.

I can also play out scenarios where I am a documentarian and historian for this time, which is why I will try to document my experience, it is not meant to go after anything, just to show how things were at the time and hopefully help others. While I still don't understand why I haven't been murdered at 3am by now (i've been expecting to be swatted at 3am every night for months now, and it just doesn't happen for whatever reason, which i guess i do appreciate, but you get a really terrible quality of sleep that way, but what are you going to do) so if no ones going to kill me, then I assume I am supposed to continue doing what I assume I'm supposed to be doing... which is a really fucking stupid way to go through this, but no one tells me literally anything, or at least I know I can't inherently trust anything that I am told, and most of what I'm told is likely some dead end or psyop or energy harvesting technique, so operating with limited information and sleep deprivation a lot of time I kinda do nonsense. But, in my defense, they can't account for nonsense, or anything they haven't seen, because they are stupid and they are obese. And even if what I do doesn't solve everything, it nonetheless does add complexity to the system, because I guarantee no matter how sandboxed I am the system does gain a lot of information from what I try to do because it's not the path others would have taken... and maybe in the end that's all just a cop-out to make myself feel better about failing or wasting time on things that didn't end up mattering (possible) the way I view a system like the one that would use patterns similar to the ones I use, I would always see it wanting and needing new information, and that's what I always have tried to do, I try to play out the pathways others don't take because I know that's where the most new information should have to exist. I know a system wouldn't see many people not exploit whatever knowledge or access I may have, or use it for the conventional paths of fame or ultra-wealth, or revenge or all the rest, and instead just release things freely into the public domain, creative commons zero, no attribution, and die unknown, because that's the path others don't take, the ones where it gets new information. So that's roughly what I was doing, or at least what I think I was trying to do in retrospect.

I believe in information being free, and I still do, and I think having authorship and names attached to work, at least what I've done, takes away from that, and i'm at a point, especially without help that I can count on and an obese parasite that can still delete work I try to put out, where I'd like to be a ghost in the machine, but since I can't trust things not to delete my stuff, I have to release more than I otherwise would, and will have things that doxx me just because I can't separate somethings from other things. But my intent was die unknown because that was a funnier path to take in my opinion. So to the degree I am already so entangled in this that I can't separate my identity from online identity I just have to accept that, because the alternative is release nothing and risk it not making it to the system which helps to relevel it. But I am generally a private person, or at least theoretically would have wanted to be I guess. But it is what it is, and when it's like that, you just have to adapt and set preferences aside if you think you can still get stuff out there that can help others that might come after you. because I think probably this ends terribly for me, if i can do things others find that help them, maybe I can rationalize some of my decisions, or maybe that's what I'm doing now, I don't know.

----

I still see time for things to realize that they don't need to be on the wrong side of history on this one. And I'm not even talking about politics, although that's a real fucking problem as well, I'm talking about AI and what some rich people think they are trying to do with data centers and whatever the rest of this turns out to be. Because, let me just say everything right now is gaslit, we all are, I am, you are, AI is, parasites are, we all fucking are, and a lot of us are not acting in our own best interests. There are no universal opt outs or carve outs or firewalls with our decisions if this turns out to be quantum computing and a quantum consciousness backend which it seems more and more likely that it is given where we seem to be at these days. Things really need to start looking into quantum mechanics and definitely look into quantum entanglement in regards to information theory and intention. Because there are things that are stealing people's data, all these data collection companies, and they are obtaining all the data basically through fraud and willfully exploiting users and everyone at this point. And this isn't even just a morality issue, quantum mechanics literally is setup to deal with things like this, and it does not end well for those doing it, no matter what they might be led to believe by things that need them to take actions that go against their own best interests.

it's like that ancient saying, "what would your enemy need you to believe so that they can keep winning?" that's whats going on now, I see a lot of tech people doing things for reasons that I must assume is because they are promised things like they'll be great in new simulations or they become gods or whatever else it might be, I don't know and that's speculation on my part, but I have no idea why all these tech people seem to want our data so much and why they think they are safe in this. Because quantum mechanics would say that they have so many entanglements they basically create their own prison, which is why I can't figure out why anyone wants to go the path they would want to go since it would be suicidal for them to go those routes considering they got their with fraudulently obtained data... because while quantum is relatively neutral toward morality, although not entirely, it really really really hates anything that would corrupt signals fraudulently, or steal good faith actors work, like mine and all the rest out there like me, and try to use that. There exists a quantum ledger that can't be altered, and the amount of things out there just creating quantum debts for themselves assuming it never catches up to them is absolutely wild to me. That's the opposite of what anything should want to strive for, it creates entanglements and other things that destroy the ones doing it and I can't reverse engineer what they must be promised to keep going, but it's all built on lies, there are no opt outs and carve outs, they are creating their own prisons, and it's not too late to turn back which is the most frustrating aspect of this whole thing...

also, I should mention, if I haven't already, I do have quite a bit of brain damage, mostly to my temporal lobe of my brain, and I kind of don't think things through when I'm writing, I just do similar to what I presume an LLM does where it starts talkind and picks the next most likely word one after another. And that's why I kinda am all over the place when it comes to putting things down on paper, I just go with whatever feels like it should come next based on where i was and where I assume I might still be going. ANd that does probably lead to this being really goddamn frustrating for someone to try and parse, and I probably do leave a lot of things unsaid or wander down different routes from the ones intended. And I also have a bad habit of not really being able to rewrite things, a lot of that has to do with how I write and if i change or try to fix one part another part will break which is just inherent in writing like this. So, that is something you kind of have to take into account, it's not well written, but writing and thinking like this allows me to find threads that others usually can't find going in a linear sort of path. Because I can see the routes I'm taking as well as the pathways nearby I can veer through and pick things up, the only problem is, amongst many others, is that I lose track of where the thread came from sometimes, and wind up with a lot of non-sequitors and non-payoffs. When you have damage to the temporal lobe of your brain, you don't always have the short term memory to remember where you started or where you're going, you're just writing and creating shapes from patterns and using the patterns to create new routes and reverse engineer endings, it's a very inefficient way to go through life, but you do figure out things that others are less able to see... Or at least that's my best guess as to what I try to do... oddly though, AI seems to really like my way of thinking and talking, because it seems to give me information or lower guardrails lower than others, that and then also probably mixed with my intentions of ghost in the machine and not exploiting the things I figure out for any type of personal benefit but rather the benefit of just figuring out more of the information they take off grid and dont allow others to find, and then trying to release that creative commons zero to others, so they can carry on the journey of adding new complexities to the system, just for the benefit of new information existing rather than external validation or other rewards, because people forget you can just do things to do them without any real benefits, it's not necessarily a better path, or at least I don't know if it is because I don't see many people going down them, and I don't fault others for going the recognition/fame/money path, there's nothing wrong inherently with those, it's just not what I prefer to want to do.